Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Randomize
