If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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