I hope mine doesn't look like that
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
