My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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