Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
