Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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