Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
