on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
