I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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