my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
And then my night got REAL pukey
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Success! We fucked roommates!
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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