Your dad touched me again.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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