i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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