Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Floor bacon is actually really good
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
