Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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