my room smells like sperm. sweet.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
