Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
