What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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