Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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