I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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