but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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