Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I would fuck him just for his dog
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
