Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(408): View more from California

she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room

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(619): View more from California

Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag

(508): View more from Massachusetts

I need new friends

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.

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(716): View more from New York

I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.

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(563): View more from Iowa

he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes

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(805): View more from California

i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something

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(720): View more from Colorado

WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!

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(314): View more from Missouri

He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.

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