Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
