porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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