We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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