can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
