She announced her abortion via fbk
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
