I think my vagina is haunted
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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