you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
