shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
