If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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