well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize