Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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