similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
