Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize