he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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