Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
