be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
