I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
