Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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