i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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