You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
my poor anus
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
