Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
