so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
