I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
