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somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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