I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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