My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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