Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
