remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
birth control should be required to get into college
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
