It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
