I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
