I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
