I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
We got so high we made milksteak
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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