if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
