chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
